| its like being a cat , you eat food no other animal would and shit in a small plastic container |
[Feb. 19th, 2006|12:19 am] |
i was wondering about age today , it affects alot of people , people even die from age , infact age is the worlds biggest killer and nobody does anything about it , smoking never killed as many people as age (ok possibly) did .
age is a very bad thing , you get old , you get wrinkly , mr happy downstairs shrivels , you complain about everything , even the mushy peas you eat with your daily mince meat pie , and not to mention you shrink!! , so if you were only 4 ft before , guess what? your yoda bound !!! .
maybe i'm under-rating age , i don't know , but the aged don't like anything , and theres something behind that .
but then again , i know tonnes of young people who bitch alot and wet themselves when they get excited ,,, i so need new friends . |
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| A Little Bit of Dickhead Relief |
[Feb. 11th, 2006|04:09 pm] |
i noticed these adds on tv today about a product named " a little bit of headache relief" , how cool is that huh? , its too bad that license is taken becuase i thought of a new product for whenever your on public transport , stuck in traffic , trying to get an aplication for a dog license at the local council or dealing with a parking officer :
A little bit of dickhead realief! tm.
just rub a little on the forehead of the person in question and bingo , the massive amounts of (deleted due to cia investigation)
will work its magic!
i really am bored |
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| family and ,,,, stuff |
[Feb. 11th, 2006|03:42 pm] |
i was watching some comedy show one night and it got me luaghing .
there was a very short stand up routine on the lies our parents told us , something i kinda liked i think , mostly becuase unlike half of the people i talk to , i don't hate mine , i'm not too sure of the specifics with everyone , becuase i stopped listenining last week but some of my friends just don't seem to have anything positive at all to say .
now don't get me wrong , my mothers a lil crazy , but at the end of the day she's there for me .
and she's there for my sister who's had her fair share of drama . my mother is the typically
ethnic matriarch sans the accent and our family would be very different without her . i'm amazed at how she's proud of us even these days
and dad? , well he's a legend , been through alot with dad i have , seen the hardest times and crawled through them together .
and even now he's seriously sick he still has alot of time for me .
my brothers and sisters i can't be so nice about , so lets not . |
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| obscure japanese platformer cought in nude romp with the oposition scandal |
[Feb. 4th, 2006|04:12 pm] |
why is it whenever i pick up a vidoe games magazine theres a preview article on some new platformer game that you just know is going to be so very totally inacurate that if your stupid enough to buy it , your'e likely to be rewarded with that same magazine slagging it in review?
maybe it goes a long way towards the greed of the publishers of the game and the magazines and the power of the editorial .
buying a game , and wether to play it or not arent important decisions . likely you have an idea of what you like anyway , and the percentage of games that are truly crap is very small when you think about the percentage of things in life that are really crap .
like life ,the degree of crapyness then vary's also .
but making and publishing a platform game (and the various and inevitable karting/party/puzzle/dating series after)takes a wierd group
of freaks indeed .
while being able to damage your foe by jumping in the air and then severly huring them with your ass before they flash a couple of times and die is an admirable quality its just not as much fun as attacking them furiously with a lightsaber , shotgun or chainsaw .
and lets face it , nobody pays the average of fifty bucks for a game that isn't fun .
except maybe dating sim fans , or people who bought dead or alive "xtreme" beach volley ball . "zack has sent you a present" . shit eh . its another fucking pork bun?!? ,,, what the fuck??
zacks getting NEVER getting into MY panties . *cough* .
see these platformers need inovation and a bit of something more added to them . like gameplay , replay value and some good old fashioned fun .
but unfortunatly next year if you bother to pick up one of those magazines , there's no doubt likely to be another one of these previews
with all the coin/oddly named gem collecting goodness .
anyway i'm off to play gta san andreas . at least it lets me steal shit. |
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| a letter to the editor : today , tonight , tommorow , next week ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, |
[Feb. 4th, 2006|03:38 am] |
to : the editor (and sub-editors) of the sixtynine news :snm news : and possibly something else we havn't heard about .
from : the government of australia (sorry , the wheat board stole our oficial government letter head software ).
Please find enclosed a copy of the telivision services act
wich we have at great cost to us sent you via email .
included in this act is the broadcasting trade practices rules and guidlines , as well as a copy of the january 2000 issue of MAD magazine on wich it was based .
please be advised that we have found the following fualts in your broadcast of the sixtynine news :
your television program today tonight tommorow next week (and subsequently snm online news) reported that on the 12 of december
2005 that we were going to impliment new workplace relations laws that would lower wages and cripple the lower classes , while taking the cake from poor little middle classed baby's mouth's and feeding it to the big evil and sometimes a bit nuaghty higher classes .
we would just like to know how the fuck you knew that?
thats very clever that is !.
Despite that we would also like to mention that the above programs forgot to mention that every year we pay every parent under the income of $35.000 a years $600 australian dollars for each child they have ,
and that means more poor babys!!
wich we might add goes a long way to to solving who will be making nike's fabulous clothing range (not to mention those shoes , wow) in 2020 .
we believe on this matter we have been unfairly treated , and
and must point out the healthy state of australia's economy and
over sea's relati-- ,,,, yes , just the state of the economy .
we would also like to point out that the story on the sixtynine news "wheat for bullets" had several fualts .
first being that we purchased guns , not bullets . we get our bullets from cambodia , it puts smiles on our faces to think that the
small one legged children on those ccf ads now have full time employment .
second being the unfair eyebrow references concerning our prime ministers mother .
and third being the over acting of your on sight reporter .
thank you for your time and co-operation
zig hail! and warmest regards
the australian government . |
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| the better part of valor is , no wait , the better part of discretion is , no wait ,,,,, the better |
[Feb. 3rd, 2006|02:16 am] |
ok , so i gave it a naff title .
and my spellings likely crap .
and essentialy i'm just talking to myself with a keyboard .
but it could be alot worse i guess .
i was at the doctors the other day and i had a bit of a realisation (ooh big word that), i'm not really going anywhere special so i would like to travel ,,,, yes , thats what i wanted to do in my youth and when i could still be bothered with things like planes and buses .
but to where? .
so to keep the central station that is my mind occupied i started to think of where would be nice in my head , even where i could move to .
the choices were endless , i mean , theres comunist china for starters ,aouth america , the UK (not pronounced uck) lapland . hell even america or "the states" for the cooler sounding out there . but isn't it full of gun toting hillbilies and drug fiends?
so i then thought i should ask one just to be sure .
wow , this is getting fairly complicated isn't it .
so i sought one out . a man in his mid forties named Bill (jeesus) .
and asked bill what he thought . Bill was a bit taken aback by the question . he even seemed offended . but then that was to be expected . "no" he said . "not all americans are fuckwit extremists or drug dealers or hipocrits" . he puased for a moment "some of us just like guns"
right bill ,,,, right . amen to that shit . |
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